Love Story

Two statues at the Villa dei Papiri, in Herculaneum have fallen in love. While Hermes may look like he is at rest it is all a façade, as he’s really just staring at the floor in an effort to look less obvious of just how aware of her presence he is. The “her” plaguing his stream of consciousness is the bronze “Woman With Water Jug” who is balancing her burden on her shoulder with the oh so sexy, aloof expression proper of such an expensive hunk of feminine metal. At night when the clip clop of the museum curator’s high heel pumps have gone home to her empty apartment and a can of cold beans, the air between the two becomes so quiet, it is loud.

In fact if it wasn’t for the uninhibited revelry of the drunken satyr (sculpted wearing only a lion skin) the tension between the two icons might have brought the decades old figures to a breaking point years ago. As it is, the rate of decomposition imposed by the lovers maddening inability to move from their current positions upon the dais, toward consummation, has created a whole new category of metal disease baffling the resident scientists who study such occurrences. This new and unspecified deterioration, recently captured the attention of world famous scientist Otto Droselemier, who himself admits to being baffled. The corruption witnessed within the two statues and has done more damage in 10 years, than the ravaging fires of Pompei and centuries of atmospheric degradation combined and all within the seemingly safe walls of Villa dei Papiri.

Other unusual events have occurred around the statues as well. It has been speculated that those who come within close proximity to the statues have sometimes been found to exhibit strange behavior. Cleaning lady Esperanza Morales happened to be mopping near the statues one night when she glanced up at “Woman With Water Jug”. Morales reported she was instantly filled with intense longing for head maintenance supervisor and widower Edgar Gonzalez, whom Esperanza had worked with for 15 years and barely spoken a word to. The two recently announced plans to marry in late October and have requested the right to hold the ceremony at the Villa dei Papiri at the feet of Lady With Water Jug to whom they credit their love.

Others have come forward with similar stories regarding the two statues.

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